My sheets look like a crime scene.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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