Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
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The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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