what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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