So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize