We're like a lot better than the average bears
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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