party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize