they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize