ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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