maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize