Me too!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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