I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize