And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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