I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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