So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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