Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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