Me. At least after what I've been through.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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