I hate your face
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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