She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize