it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
how does that bad decision feel?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize