remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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