Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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