great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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