just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize