Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize