I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize