I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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