god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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