She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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