I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
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I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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