idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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