At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize