smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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