I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize