Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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