I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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