Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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