I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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