I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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