On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
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I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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