Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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