Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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