God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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