new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize