you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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