Im at strip club and am horny
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize