my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize