If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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