i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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