The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize