Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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